Cause I Die Without You
by Selena Marie Weasley
Summary: ""How the hell do you think I feel every damn day when you go out there against some meta? How do you think I feel when you leave and it might be the last time I see you?" Barry is pissed when Iris puts herself in danger. And they fight over his need for her to be safe and her need to do her job. Barry/Iris.


_Based off a post and an ask on tumblr. Title taken from the song Without You from the musical Rent._

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"What the fuck were you thinking?" he yells angrily throwing his hands up in the air. His back is to her for a moment before he spins around to face her. "How could you be so stupid?"

He's furious with her. That much is clear. She doesn't think she's ever heard him yell so loud and with so much anger, and certainly never directed at her. In a normal situation she would be surprised, but right now she's just as mad.

"I was trying to help. I was doing my job!"

"That's not your job. That's mine! Yours is to-"

She narrows her eyes at him and steps closer, cutting him off. Her own anger rising up inside of her.

"Say your next words carefully," she warns in a low, controlled voice and he visibly swallows.

"Iris," he breathes out pinching his nose in frustration.

"Because if you're about to say that my job is to stay at my desk," she stops herself noticing her voice getting louder. She doesn't want to yell at him, but she wants to get her point across. "I'm going to investigate it's what I do. And if someone needs help I'm not just going to stand by and wait for you or someone else to show up. Just because I don't have powers doesn't mean I can't help people."

"That's not what I'm saying," he interjects and she can see he's barely reigning in his anger. "All I'm saying is that maybe you shouldn't be throwing yourself into dangerous situations."

For a moment she's speechless, stunned into silence. And then she's pissed. "Do you think that I look for a dangerous situation? God, Barry, you're such a hypocrite. I can't throw myself into dangerous situations? But you can? It's because I don't have powers right? You put yourself into danger all the goddamn time and you don't see me dragging you away without your permission. Just because I don't have powers doesn't mean I can't help people."

He raises his hands to the side of his head tugging on his hair and blows out some air. "You don't understand-"

"What don't I understand Barry? I was fine. I was handling it. But you - you whisked me away before I could say anything. You didn't let me decide to stay. I was fine."

"No you weren't!" the sudden outburst startles her and she looks at him. He isn't looking at her he's rubbing his hands over his face. She figures he's finally letting it out and she's not going to stop him. "You weren't fine. You - you could have died! Something could have happened. You could have fucking died. And you know what? If you die, I die."

His voice quiets with defeat hanging his head. She steps closer to him and thinks better of touching him for the moment. "Barry?" she asks searchingly.

"You could have died," he repeats this time much softer and sadder. His eyes meets hers shining with unshed tears. "I could have lost you."

"But you didn't," she attempts to reassure him. "I'm still here. I'm right here."

She reaches out to him but he just shakes his head and backs away and starts pacing. And she's not sure what he's going to do next. Her own anger and frustration has dissipated and is now replaced with worry. She understands where Barry is coming from though she doesn't agree with his methods exactly, she gets it. Barry is fiercely protective of the people he loves, but so is she. And just because she understands doesn't mean she's going to back down until he understands her point of view.

"You can't do that anymore," he says facing her once again. His tone is firm leaving no room for an argument.

"Do what?" Although she already knows the answer. "My job?"

"Fuck, Iris! I don't want you putting yourself in danger anymore. I want-I don't like not knowing if you're okay or not."

"How do you think I feel?" she shouts. "How the hell do you think I feel every damn day when you go out there against some meta? How do you think I feel when you leave and it might be the last time I see you? You have powers but you never know what could happen. Something out of your control. You could be killed! Do you see me trying to stop you? Do you see me telling you not to put yourself in danger? I don't. I swallow my fears and hope and pray you'll come back to me. So yeah I know exactly how it feels."

"Iris," he sighs. "I just want you safe. I don't want to lose you."

"I know."

This time when she reaches out to him he doesn't move away, he almost falls into her as she wraps her arms around his waist, his own arms come around her holding on to her tightly. He buries his face in her hair as a shudder goes through him. She feels the fight drain out of him and she just rubs soothing circles on his back, calming him down.

"I'm sorry," he whispers.

"I know."

She keeps quiet for a few minutes just closing her eyes and breathing him in and taking comfort in him as well. Because honestly she knows that if something went wrong she could've died today and that's just now setting in.

Resting her chin on his chest she peers up at him and waits for him to look down at her before speaking.

"I love that you want to protect me. I don't mind that. What I do mind is you making decisions for me. I can decide what's safe and what isn't. But Barry, honey, you can't put me in a bubble just because you're afraid of what might happen. It doesn't work that way. I can take care of myself."

The corner of his mouth raises into a smirk. "I know you can. You can handle anything that comes your way. And I'm really proud of what you did today, what you do everyday. But I can't help but worry about you. It's not rational I know. But I love you so much and the thought of-"

"Hey," she says softly touching his face with her fingertips. "Shh, I know. I worry too, but we can't live in fear. And I'm not going to stop doing my job, I'm not going to stop wanting to help people. I know you're not going to stop being the Flash and that's okay. We can work something out. Compromise. If I'm in over my head I'll call you I won't try to do it all myself." She pauses and smiles at him. "How about we head to my place, order pizza, watch a movie and talk this out some more? I think we can come to a good solution without yelling at each other. What do you think?"

He nods resting his forehead against hers. His hands landing on her waist, squeezing gently. "Okay."

"You want to know something?" she asks a smile creeping on her face as her hands move to his neck fingers playing with the hair at the nape of his neck. And this feels right to her. This is how they should be. Talking it out and reassuring each other.

"Hmm?"

"I love you Barry Allen."

"Yeah?" he grins at her tipping his head down towards her. His lips almost brushing against hers as he speaks. And her smile widens.

"Yeah," she whispers against his lips before leaning up and pressing her mouth to his.


End file.
